Life, I Wonder.......

The other day as I was riding to work, listening to my ipod, i was suddenly inspired to write a new blog. I had a numerous amount of thoughts that ran through my head about what i could blog about. Out of the mass chaos running through my head, I decided on a topic. The topic of the hour is "Life."

Many times we take it, meaning life for granted and we shouldn't. This so called thing called life can be rough. Hell it is not suppossed to be easy. If it was you, better yet we, would have even less of an appreciation for it. Be glad for what little you have and be even more grateful for what you don't have. Once you realize that you have everything you need and not what you want, you will come to terms that you have exactly what you want. (DAMN, THAT WAS DEEP.) I, myself have realized that I don't have some of the things that I want/need, because I am not ready for it. If you rush life, can you enjoy it? Things that make you go hmmmm...

Before I leave, let me leave you with this, life is living and living is life. Be mesmerized by the little things and let the little subtlties come and take you away.

Be real and be you.

Love always,
Ya boy

What you Give is What you Get???

Is this TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY TRUE?? I think so, well not completely. As I sit here and listen to "Superstar," by Lauryn Hill, I ponder on this thought. In the majority that I do, I try to give it my all. From the littlest accomplishment to the biggest. I try to make something better than the way that I found it. While sitting here in the middle of the Desert, Tikrit, Iraq, I ponder on ways to make this better than I found it. Hell simply being here is making it better. But htis is kinda a double edged sword. I am helping to make this country better, but I am struggling on the inside. I miss my family and friends so dearly. I try not to talk to them as much cause it hurts a little, but not talking to them hurts as well. WWJD? HE would pray and ask for guidance and patience. And this is what I do. Heck, it is all that I can do. I cant wait until my two weeks R&R comes around, which coincidently I will take for my birthday. I am going to bask in the presence of those that I love and those that love me dearly. To help pass the time and I have decided to keep a video blog of my adventures in Iraq and keep it on a weekly basis. As I type this blog, I coming to the close of the third week that I have been deployed outside of the U.S. I have pretty much adjusted to the temperature change. Although it is always upwards of 110 degrees here, it is not that bad. And the reason as to why is simple. It is a dry heat, no humidity to worry about. The killer is the DAMN sand encrusted blow dryer in your face. Well thats my update for now. Until next time, be Easy and Stay Breezy. I am outta here....

I'm Here

Lately my mind has been a bit crowded and overwhelmed. I find myself getting easily aggravated with the insignificant and irresponsible actions of others. I find that this is not such a healthy way to live life. So as I listen to Clarity by Najee and a light jazz mix, I create the first part of my new mantra for 2008 and 2009.

1.) I will not set expectations on things that I cannot control.

2.) I am here for the present. for it is a gift from God and I will enjoy every moment of it. I will learn from the past and prepare for the future.

And the last part of it:

3.) We can never see past the choices that we do not understand.

This is my new mantra for the remainder of this year and if you don't like it, that's your opinion and you are entitled to it, but please don't expect me to get to the point in my life where your opinion matters so much to me that I am going to give a damn, because if that is your bread and butter, you'll die of starvation before I conform to you and your standards.

I am outta here for now and remember......

"We are all here to do what we are all here to do."

Reflections: From a Minor way, In a Major Key

Stevie wounder once wrote an album entitled, "Songs in the Key of Life." If I were to write an album now about my life and its experience, I would call it, "Life in a Minor Key, with Major Accidentals." Kinda of an oxymoron, I know but it describes my mood for the last couple of months. I have been through some major transitions since about August of last year. I have ended a relationship, lost a job, gotten a new job, involved in a car accident(rear ended by a hit and run), gotten a new car, blessed with a new niece Lyric Simone Gumes (Chunky Monkey), been called to serve my Country in Iraq, started down the road to purchasing a house, and met some really great individuals. This may be a long blog but bare with me as I attempt to express all of these "minor accidentals" that are within.

Would I change anything that I have recently been through? As I ponder long and hard, my final answer is HELL NO. Every trial and tribulation that I have recently been through, has not only made me a stronger person, but it has also given me a new appreciation and outlook on life. Probably the most life changing event for me is the birth of my niece. The only thing that could top that is having a child of my own. Although Lyric is not mine directly, the Lord has blessed us all with her presence. There is not now or ever will be nothing that I will not do in my power for this little lady or her parents. To follow, would be my calling to serve my country.

I knew that when signing up for the military, going to war was a possibility, but hey we do what we need to. What made this event so life changing was for the simple reason that I realized that at that point in time, more so than before, who everyone was in my life and what they mean for me. I may have only been blessed with one biological sibling, My big sis, Mikkie, LOVE YA, but God gave me 4 brothers and a brother in law and a few others, who love me just as much as my blood sister. We may not have the same blood that I have with my sister, but the bond there is just as strong. Shamekia, Gregory, Brian, Brandon, T.J., Lyndsay, Raven and Kendall, I LOVE YOU ALL. I know that if I was to ever need anything, I could call on you guys and there would be no hesitation. You all have listened to me bitch and moan and that right there is enough to make you say, THANK YOU!!!! And most importantly, MI MADRE, my rock and my comforter. The easiest way to describe her without sitting here for hours is simple she is the one who helped to make me into a STRONG AND INDEPENDENT MAN. For without her, there is no MOI (french for me, multi lingual, LOL). I know that this next year is going to be hard on all of us, but when I get back home, what a joyous day it will be. You all have been my rocks and I hope that I am yours. Let us all continue to lean on each other and be strong as one. I am soooooo very proud of all of you. I could go on and on, but I won't, LOL. To summ it all up, you all are stuck with me and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I am signing off for now, because its starting to get a lil emotional and i need to take a shower. I'll be back a lot more than before to give you updates as well as pics while I am overseas.

As always be real and remember.....

"There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path............"

ONE LOVE

!!!!WHY!!!!

Hold up, wait a minute. I am sick of this shit, but I am not going to compromise who I am or going to change who I am becuase your life is so full of Bullshit and drama. I can only be me and nothing more or nothing less. You know how I feel about you and I yet instill I eat the lines that you tell me instead of observing your actions and going from there. Well, I am letting you know that now I am deriving my continuing actions based upon your actions. Not that I am being vindictive, but I am not going to continue to put myslef out there for you to treat me any kind of way. My feelings toward you have not changed, but I am going to take a step back and let you do you, because it is more than apparent that right now, YDK and neither do I. Know that I am here for you and when the time arises and you can be wise enough to know what you want and what is good for you, I'll be around...

New beginnings

Lets go. It is now time to start a new chapter in my life. Relationships have ended and new ones are beginning and old relationships are starting again. So often we attempt to hold on to the very things that God himself is trying to pull us apart from. I have learned that to Love is hard, but to let go of loving someone is even harder. But once you learn to let go, you will realize that just because are not in a relationship together, does not mean that you cannot be friends. Always remember to cherish the good times, learn from the bad, and cherish the friendships that are to come. I learned a lot from you and I hope that you have learned a lot from Me. but the most important lessons that I have learned are, YOU CAN'T MAKE SOMEONE LOVE YOU, BE YOURSELF, TRUST AND HAVE FAITH, LEARN FROM THE PAST SO THAT YOU DO NOT REPEAT IT, AND CHERISH THE TIME YOU HAVE REMEMBERING THAT IT IS A PRESENT FROM GOD. All things heal and mend with time, but we must be careful not to block the things that come into our life or make those yet to come suffer for the mistakes of others. It may hurt to love again, but you owe it to yourself and future encounters to give it a try. And from this moment forth, I am going to give LOVE a try and not be afraid. LIVE LIFE AND ENJOY THOSE AROUND YOU.

LOVE ALWAYS AND FOREVER,
YELLABOY

Here Goes............

As I sit here in the bedroom listening to Kirk Whalum play the hell out of this saxaphone, I can't help but to place my thoughts into words. The title of the song that I am listening to is "Afterthoughts." All I can say is wow. This song is speaking to me in so many ways that I can't even start to describe. It as if he and I are sitting down and having a converstion about life. My life to be more exact. Right now I want to be held so close that words can't even describe. I have someone in my life that can hold me and I know that they love me more than words can ever show. Well its just that sometimes its nice to hear it. This special someone knows who they are so there is no need to call names. I want to tell them, but right know they are fighting an internal battle and I don't want to seem selfish by asking for some quality time. I have agreed to be understanding and let them work through the internal struggles alone, but I have always been one that takes pleasure in making others happy and it is killing me inside to know that right now the best thing that I can do is remain silent and stand in the back. Just so long as you know that I am there to catch you and hold you when you need me. I love you more than words can ever show or tell and because you are hurting, I am falling apart. As I am typing, my eyes are overflowing with tears. How I long for you to kiss me and hold me tight. Whenever I was feeling depressed and nothing could go right, it was the comfort of your touch that helped me through my rough time. Just the mere thought of coming home and knowing that you were there was so reassuring that my life was going to be alright. What is driving me crazy the most is knowing or thinking that my words don't do the same for you. Baby, I love you and nothing can ever change that. I want you to know that not doing nothing is killing me, but in honoring your request I am doing that. I have never fallen for anyone the way that I have fallen for you and baby, it feels so good. God brought us together for a reason and I realize that the road will be rocky but anything that is worth something, you are going to struggle for it. Baby I am struggling and I am fighting because you are the one thing that I will fight for. You have done so much for me and I hope that I have done the same for you. You taught me what it is to love, you restored my faith in love, when I had lost it. You are the best thing that I have found outside of my mother and sister. You completed me when I was incomplete. Everything about you touches my soul. Your talk, walk, style, charisma, and other things.... are all that I need to make it. Not to mention all that I want. I could go on and on about what it is that you do for me, all I hope is that I can be to you, what you have been to me. You are my rock, MY ONE AND MY ONLY. Let me close this out for the evening before I start balling again, but let me leave you with this.....FOR YOU I AM TRULY AND EXTREMELY GRATEFUL. I LOVE YOU FROM THE DEPTHS OF MY SOUL.